A Surprise Proposal in Mexico

In November 2019, Hoda Kotb announced her engagement to Joel Schiffman. The proposal happened during a beach‑side dinner in Mexico.  Kotb later described the moment: they were finishing dessert, and Joel asked, “Will you be my wife?” She said yes.  The scene struck a chord because of its simple elegance — sandy toes, warm waves, and that unexpected question.

Building a Family Together

Before the engagement, Kotb and Schiffman had already begun building their family. In 2017, Kotb adopted daughter Haley Joy. In 2019, the couple adopted a second daughter, Hope Catherine. Kotb has stated publicly that Schiffman supported her decision to adopt, and that parenthood became a deep source of purpose and joy.

Wedding Dreams and a Shift in Plans

Soon after the engagement, Kotb mentioned her desire for a “low‑key” beach wedding. She expressed a preference for a relaxed ceremony surrounded by close friends and family rather than celebrity‑style fanfare. However, in early 2022 she revealed that she and Schiffman had decided to end their engagement. She explained live on the Today show: “Joel and I had a lot of prayerful and really meaningful conversations over the holidays. We decided that we’re better as friends and parents than we are as an engaged couple.”

Parting on Good Terms

Kotb emphasised that there was no scandal, no dramatic event that triggered the split. She said the relationship simply evolved and they reached a point where the engagement no longer felt right. “It’s not like something happened,” she told her co‑host. “I feel like ours was meant to be there for a season.”  Despite the romantic chapter closing, both remain dedicated co‑parents. Kotb described their co‑parenting routine: “He’ll have Saturday, I’ll have Sunday. We switch each week. The kids love it.”

Reflection, Growth and What’s Next

In 2025, Kotb opened up about the deeper reasons behind the decision. While promoting her new book, she revealed she attended a week‑long retreat and had a personal epiphany: she felt she had been acting as a “phony” in the relationship—someone not fully aligned with her emotional needs. She said she still loves and admires Schiffman, but acknowledges that their relationship has transformed into something different—a respectful friendship rooted in co‑parenting, rather than a romantic union. Meanwhile, she remains optimistic about the future. Not actively searching, she said she believes there’s someone meant for her, and she is open to new love when it feels right.