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Michelle shares her thoughts on differing with Barack over parenting choices

Michelle Obama Opens Up About Tough Parenting Choice With Barack

A Parenting Disagreement Goes Public
In a revealing episode of the podcast “IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson” on June 25, 2025, former First Lady Michelle Obama shared an emotional story about a parenting disagreement with her husband, former President Barack Obama.

The issue? Sleep training their infant daughter using the “Ferber method.” The method involves letting babies cry for timed intervals before being comforted, with the goal of teaching them to self-soothe.

Michelle Was Hesitant, Barack Took Charge

Joined by psychologist Jonathan Haidt, Michelle admitted she didn’t want to go through with it.

“Barack did it,” she said. “I wasn’t sure I could handle hearing my baby cry like that.”

To cope, Michelle left the responsibility to her husband while she covered her ears and tried to sleep.

“The sound was unbearable,” she recalled.

Quick Results Surprised Her

Fortunately, the results came fast.

“It took no longer than a week,” Michelle explained. “After the first two nights, it worked.”

They began the process when their daughter—either Malia or Sasha—was about four to five months old, just after weaning from breastfeeding. Michelle emphasized how starting early made a big difference.

Why the Method Works

Haidt agreed, explaining that all mammals wake up during the night. The key is teaching babies how to fall back asleep on their own—without relying on being held or nursed.

The Emotional Weight of Parenthood

Michelle’s story is just one of many she’s shared on her podcast. In an earlier episode posted on June 19, she discussed how the emotional strain of parenting never really ends.

Radio host Angie Martinez recalled constantly checking on her son’s breathing during the night. Michelle responded,

“Forever and ever. Amen. […] I don’t care how old.”

Letting Kids Make Mistakes

In a separate episode aired on May 14, Michelle reflected on the importance of allowing children to fail.

“It’s the hardest thing,” she said. “To watch your kids walk into a wall you knew was there.”

However, she believes it’s essential.

“They need to know they can mess up and bounce back. Go to the doctor, put some ice on it, and move on.”

Balancing Freedom and Support

Michelle also stressed the need to give children increasing independence. Still, she emphasized always being close enough to catch them when they fall.

At the same time, her daughters know they can always come to her without fear of judgment.

“They need to feel safe reaching out—no matter how hard things get.”

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