Michael J. Fox was just 29 years old when he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1991, at the height of his Hollywood success. Now 65, the actor has spoken candidly about his more than 30-year battle with the incurable neurodegenerative condition — and how he hopes his life will eventually come to an end. At the time of his diagnosis, Fox was riding a career high, having starred in the hugely successful Back to the Future trilogy, as well as hits like Teen Wolf and Bright Lights, Big City.

His work earned him a place among VH1’s “50 Greatest Teen Idols,” along with multiple Emmys, Golden Globes, SAG Awards, and a Grammy. In the years following his diagnosis, Fox stepped back from acting, later writing in his 2002 memoir Lucky Man that fear and uncertainty initially overwhelmed him.

Parkinson’s, which progressively affects the nervous system, causes mobility issues and other unpredictable symptoms that worsen over time. Now promoting his upcoming memoir Future Boy, Fox says he has learned to adapt. Speaking to The Sunday Times, he described Parkinson’s as “mysterious and enigmatic,” with no clear stages or timeline.

During the interview, Fox also addressed mortality. Having lived with Parkinson’s for decades, he admitted he’s thought deeply about death, saying he hopes to “just not wake up one day.” He added that he doesn’t want his mobility issues to make his final moments dramatic, acknowledging that while he can still walk, it has become increasingly difficult and dangerous.