The Title I Never Expected to Earn

Becoming a mother was never part of my plan—at least, not in the beginning. It wasn’t something I longed for in my twenties or even early thirties. Only in my mid-thirties did the idea begin to stir in my heart, and even then, it felt more like a fleeting goal than a true desire.

Career Came First

Back then, I was focused on my career. I was determined to climb the ladder, secure a more prominent position, and prove myself. Starting a family seemed like something I’d consider “later.”

Still, deep in my heart, there lived a quiet vision—a home filled with four children, echoing with laughter and joy. I imagined them racing through the hallways, playing and chasing one another.

But the reality was different. My demanding schedule often meant working seven days a week, traveling constantly, and living in a small apartment without a backyard. Four children? It felt impossible. Even one child seemed like a stretch.

A Change of Heart

Things shifted after I got married. By then, I was closer to 40 than 30. A few years in, something changed inside me. Suddenly, I wanted to have a baby—desperately.

At the time, I was co-hosting Fox & Friends First at 5 a.m. I had job security, and my husband and I were finally in a place where we could raise a child in New York.

So, I planned. We’d try in February or March so I could have a fall baby. Why fall? Because New York moms warned me about the preschool waitlists and how summer babies often face enrollment challenges.

But as a dear friend once told me, “We plan, God laughs.”

Waiting and Hoping

Scripture says there’s a season for everything. This was my season of waiting—and it was painful.

Each month, I hoped. Each month, nothing.

I saw pregnant women everywhere. I watched friends and coworkers announce their news. I walked past playgrounds filled with children. And I felt the ache grow stronger.

Eight months passed. For many women, that’s not long. But for me, it felt like an eternity. When I finally saw that positive test, I cried with relief.

A Joyful Beginning

To surprise my husband, I wrapped a tiny silver baby spoon and gave it to him on the steps of our church. He looked confused until I told him the news. His expression—part shock, part joy—is one I’ll never forget.

At our eight-week appointment, we heard the baby’s heartbeat. It was real. Our child was growing. We recorded the sound and played it for our parents on speakerphone as we walked down 1st Avenue. They were overjoyed. This baby would be the first grandchild in both families.

Then, Everything Changed

At our next appointment in November, the doctor looked concerned. She mentioned we might not hear the heartbeat again.

We were stunned. At our previous visit, she had noted the baby was small, but we hadn’t thought much of it. We assumed maybe our due date was off.

We weren’t prepared for what happened next.

Faith Through Heartbreak

Losing that baby broke my heart. But it also forced me to lean into faith in a deeper way. I had to trust that God saw what I couldn’t—that His plan was bigger than mine.

He knew I needed my Hayden.

The Baby Who Found Her Way to Me

Today, Hayden rests her head on my shoulder and falls asleep. She tells me she loves me, twirls in ballet class, and delights in animals.

She’s curious, bright, and filled with joy. Her laughter fills our home—the very home I once feared would be too quiet forever.

Without the pain, I wouldn’t know the gift she is. I walked through a deep valley. Now I stand on a mountaintop, and the view is more beautiful than I ever imagined.

The Weekend That Changed Everything

When Hayden was born, it was the happiest weekend of my life.

Family and friends gathered. My healthy baby girl was here—in the city where my dreams came true.

A Daily Reminder

Now, Hayden DuBose Proctor is almost two years old. I tell her every day that she is my miracle.

She reminds me constantly to trust God’s timing, even when it doesn’t align with mine.

Because in the end, I received a title I once never imagined I’d have—Mother. And it is the greatest title of all.