Noticed that Erika Kirk has been smiling and even laughing in public since her husband’s tragic death? You’re not the only one.

Now, she’s breaking her silence — and offering an emotional explanation.

Broke down in tears

It’s been just over a month since the 30-year-old MAGA figure Charlie Kirk was tragically shot in the neck on a Utah university campus on September 10.

After a 33-hour manhunt, the FBI identified the suspected gunman as 22-year-old Utah resident Tyler Robinson, who reportedly knew Kirk was visiting the state before the shooting occurred.

A massive memorial service was held for Kirk on September 21 at State Farm Stadium in Arizona, where an estimated 100,000 people gathered to pay their respects. The ceremony included tributes from President Donald Trump, Vice President JD Vance, and emotional video montages of Kirk’s life and career — including never-before-seen footage from the day of his assassination.

During the service, Erika delivered a heartfelt speech, alternately breaking down in tears and smiling as she reflected on her husband’s life and their memories together.

Candace Owens criticism

Since then, the mother of two has made a few public appearances, including a guest spot on her late husband’s podcast, where she discussed becoming the new CEO of Turning Point USA, the conservative organization Charlie founded at 18.

But her smiling demeanor during those appearances sparked backlash online, with some accusing her of seeming “too happy.” The criticism even came from fellow conservative commentator Candace Owens, who questioned Erika’s behavior.

Owens’ criticized Erika Kirk for not publicly demanding answers about who killed her husband and instead participating in photoshoots just hours after his death.

Erika responded to the criticism directly, saying there’s “no linear blueprint for grief”.

“One day you’re collapsed on the floor crying out the name Jesus in between labored breaths,” she wrote.

Erika’s explanation

“The next you’re playing with your children in the living room, surrounded by family photos, and feeling a rush of something you can only attempt to define as divinely planted and bittersweet joy as a smile breaks through on your face.”

She continued: “They say time heals. But love doesn’t ask to be healed. Love asks to be remembered.”

Reflecting on the long road ahead, she added, “I carry my Charlie in every breath, in every ache, and in every quiet act of day-to-day living as I attempt to relearn what that rhythm will be.”

Charlie Kirk is survived by his wife, Erika, and their two young children.

Tyler Robinson, 22, who grew up in a Utah suburb and briefly attended Utah State University before leaving to join an electrical apprenticeship program, is now facing a string of serious charges in connection with Kirk’s death.

These include aggravated murder, two counts of obstruction of justice, felony discharge of a firearm causing serious bodily injury, two counts of witness tampering, and committing a violent offense in the presence of a child.

A waiver hearing has been set for October 30, during which the suspect is expected to appear in person.