Have you ever been on a cruise, locked eyes with a charming crew member and thought you were living your Love Boat fantasy? Though it might have felt like sparks were flying, one cruise insider is spilling the dirt, saying that holiday flings between passengers and the onboard team are destined to sink faster than the Titanic.

Cruises promise a lot of things – epic pool parties, all-you-can-eat buffets, bottomless daiquiris, and endless entertainment.

But there’s one thing you definitely won’t find on the official activities list: Getting frisky with the crew.

Despite being stuck on a floating city with thousands of strangers and enough cocktails to sink the ship, life below deck is not quite as spicy as one might think, says Lucy Southerton, a former cruise ship crew member with 10 years of experience on ships like Virgin Voyages and Disney Cruise Line.

Breaking down the details of life as a crew member on her YouTube channel “Cruising as Crew,” the UK native answers the “cruise industry’s most asked” question: “Are crew allowed to have romantic or personal relationships with guests on board cruise ships?”

“There is definitely no cruise line out there that is okay with their cruise members getting busy with a passenger,” she says, next explaining why.

Protect the cruise

Cruise ships might feel like floating holiday resorts, but it’s important to remember that they’re multi-billion-dollar businesses.

While you’re sipping mojitos and living your best life, the people running the show are busy protecting their brand, their cash, and their five-star Tripadvisor rating.

If things “get messy,” the situation can turn into a full-blown HR investigation, with security teams getting involved, legal risks stacking up, and headlines splashed across social media. All of that “costs money.”

Protect passenger and crew

But it’s also to “protect both the passenger and the crew member,” Southerton explains.

Oftentimes the two – one in vacation mode and the other earning a salary along with tips – are “not on the same page.”

“One of these parties will get their feelings or their ego hurt,” Southerton starts. “That’s when accusations might be made, conversations need to be had, reports might be filed, and the crew member is going to get in trouble.”

Connection gets ‘twisted’

Despite the rules, Southerton admits connections still happen all the time. And speaking from experience on both sides of the ship life drama, she has a little reality check for anyone thinking they’ve found the one at sea.

She reminds passengers that crew members are living this life for months on end, meeting hundreds of new people every single week.

“So, while this might be a new exciting connection for you that doesn’t happen very often, for [the worker], this is probably a regular occurrence that they meet someone who they really gel with. And I think this is where passengers who do either become friends or hook up with crew members get it twisted.”

So, while you might be getting butterflies and imagining your future cruise wedding, for them, it’s probably just another day, another friendly face they happen to vibe with.

In short, it feels special to you – but for them, it’s just part of the job.

Risked it all

And it all “depends on how much you value your job,” Southerton tells her viewers before sharing the story of one guy, who – after years of dreaming and months of waiting for that golden ticket – had finally boarded the ship as an official crew member.

But unfortunately, he couldn’t resist the flirty vibes from a passenger and decided to risk it all for a little on-board action.

“He just started his contract…it was such a dream that he was now on board. But one week into his contract he decided to get busy with the passenger and let’s just say he was not very discreet about it. So, a week after this incident he got fired. He got sent home,” Southerton shared at the end of her clip. “This guy had been trying to get on ships for years, finally managed it, and then like a week and 1/2 into his nine-month contract he got sent home. Talk about self-sabotage.

“A wise man learns from other people’s mistakes,” Southerton concludes. “So, I think we can all take something from that little story.”

While the cocktails might be flowing and the crew might be serving serious Love Boat energy, your onboard romance fantasy is probably better left as just a fantasy.

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