In 2019, Sam Smith announced they were ending their war with gender and embracing the pronouns they/them. Despite the bold public declaration, the “Man I Am” singer is still routinely misgendered, and referred to as “that fella.”

In September 2021, Sam Smith, the 33-year-old Grammy-winning British singer-songwriter known for hits like “Stay with Me,” announced that they would use they/them pronouns, calling it a personal milestone in a journey of self-acceptance.

“Today is a good day so here goes,” Smith wrote in a public statement on X. “I’ve decided I am changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM. after a lifetime of being at war with my gender I’ve decided to embrace myself for who I am, inside and out…”

He added, “I understand there will be many mistakes and misgendering but all I ask is you please please try. I hope you can see me like I see myself now. Thank you.”

‘His outfits’

Since that announcement, misgendering incidents have remained frequent – and often public.

At the Grammy Awards, a reporter with the Associated Press incorrectly referred to the Oscar-winning artist using male pronouns while discussing their fashion evolution.

“Sam Smith has had a lot of controversy around his outfits this past year, I love that he’s continuing to push the mold, love that he’s continuing to break out from the Sam Smith that we knew at the ballads,” the reporter said, per the Independent. “He’s still singing those ballads, but he’s definitely diving fully in, into pop music, and we can see that, not only in his music but also in his looks as well.”

‘Ridiculous’

Then, on ITV’s This Morning, 74-year-old Bob Geldof was slammed for repeatedly referring to the non-binary singer as “he,” instead of their chosen pronouns, prompting backlash from viewers.

Former hosts Holly Willoughby and Philip Schofield did not correct the error during the broadcast.

“Holly and Phil should have pulled him up on that. Ridiculous,” one person fired, per the Mirror.

“He’s on national TV and speaking about Sam Smith. You’d think someone would brief him on Sam’s gender identity or at least correct him. Painful watch,” another shared.

Meanwhile, another said: “Give all those ‘Best Male’ awards you won and [profited] from back and we will talk, Sam.”

‘That fella’

More recently, TV presenter Lorraine Kelly has come under fire for misgendering Smith during a segment on her talk show. While discussing the singer’s red-carpet appearance at the Barbie movie premiere with guest Vogue Williams, Kelly referred to Smith multiple times using male pronouns.

“It’s a bit big for him,” Smith said. “If he was my son, I’d be saying, ‘Son, that’s too big for you’… He’s going to stand out. He knows what he’s doing, does that fella.”

Williams, in contrast, used Smith’s correct pronouns, stating that they would “certainly stand out on the red carpet.”

‘He’s a bloke’

Fans online reacted quickly, criticizing Kelly for disregarding Smith’s identity.

“Not Lorraine misgendering Sam Smith over and over!!” one user wrote, as reported by The Independent. Another added: “I guess Lorraine didn’t get the memo about Sam Smith and their chosen pronouns, awkward.”

Others, however, said “[Kelly] fell into the trap of thinking he’s a bloke because he is.”

“How can you misgender someone that is obviously a man?” a second tweeted.

A third joked, “What a bigot, she knows they are not a he but a chubby them or they…I forgot what we were talking about.”

‘Everyone messes up’

In a conversation with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe, Smith explained what the pronoun change has meant for them. “Since changing my pronouns, it felt like a coming home,” they said, according to the Independent. “I wish I knew what the words were when I was in school, because I would’ve identified as that in school. Because it is who I am and it’s who I’ve always been.”

Acknowledging the complexity of adjusting language habits, both for others and for themselves, they added: “What’s hard is people changing their vocabulary; that’s very, very difficult. It takes time. Everyone messes up. I’m going to be misgendered to the day I die.”

They added, “This is all about feeling safe, and it makes me feel happy and it makes me feel comfortable. And if I get to live a life where I’m a little bit more comfortable and happy, then I think it’s worth it.”

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