Michelle Obama has spent much of her adult life in the spotlight, often having to carefully weigh every word she said in public.

But now, at 61, the former First Lady says she’s in a stage of life where she feels more comfortable aligning her public and private selves. That includes choosing not to do certain things traditionally expected of her—like attending President Trump’s inauguration or the funeral of former President Jimmy Carter. She’s aware those choices drew attention and criticism, she told NPR’s Wild Card podcast host Rachel Martin, but she’s learning to prioritize authenticity over obligation.

Michelle Obama has once again addressed persistent rumors about trouble in her marriage to former President Barack Obama, brushing them off by saying the real reason they’re rarely seen together in photos is simply because they’re “too old for Instagram.”

It’s like, ‘OK, so we don’t Instagram every minute of our lives. We are 60. We’re 60, y’all,’” Michelle said.

“You just are not gonna know what we’re doing every minute of the day.”

Michelle said one of the biggest decisions she made this year was to stay home and skip funerals, inaugurations, and other events she’s usually expected to attend. It was her way of using my ambition to take control and set my own priorities.

“Let me define what I want to do, apart from what I’m supposed to do, what the world expects of me.” And I have to own that. Those are my choices. Whatever the backlash was, I had to sit in it and own it. But I didn’t regret it, you know? It’s my life now, and I can say that, now. But we’ll see.”

She also shared that, as a working mom and First Lady, she often felt the need to scale back her ambitions.

Michelle Obama reflected on how her personal ambition has often taken a backseat throughout her life. She explained that, as both a working mom and the First Lady, her focus was on her family and being part of a team with her husband, rather than pursuing her own goals.

She admitted that her ambition never fully had the chance to flourish because she was constantly balancing her husband’s career and raising their children. There were times when she had to step back and put her own dreams on hold—even though she knew she had the potential to do more and earn more. But she chose to be present for her kids, to attend things like Halloween parades, and to prioritize her family.

Now, she says she’s in a new chapter of life—one where the choices she makes are entirely her own, and her ambition is finally at the center.

Michelle Obama shared a powerful reflection on aging and the value of time. At 61, she says she thinks about how, if she’s lucky, she might have about 25 more summers left—and that realization has made her more mindful of how she spends her time.

Michelle emphasized the importance of being intentional with time—making sure you’re doing what brings you joy and spending it with the people you love. She acknowledged that in earlier stages of life, especially when you’re younger, you don’t always have that freedom because you’re focused on building your future. But now, she’s in a place where she wants to savor every summer, every moment.

With about 25 summers left, Michelle wants to truly experience and savor every single one. “I wanna be like, Woo, this year. Woo. This was slow.” It’s like, I didn’t do much of anything. Did I accomplish anything? I got bored. I read another book. Ugh, it took forever…”, Michelle emphasized.